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Glad You Came
"Hey, you came," I say twisting around to look up at him from the ground.
"I said I would," he reminds me quietly, lying down next to me on the grass. We sit quietly for a few minutes looking up at the stars. You can see them so much better out here, far from any lights. I sigh, feeling the weight of the humidity pressing on my chest. I lay my arm over my eyes and the stars are blocked from view.
"Do you ever think about the future?" Jesse asks me, shifting onto his side.
"My future?" I ask. I haven't really even thought about tomorrow.
"Our future." He clarifies and looks at me expectantly.
"Do you really think we have a future?" I ask skeptically. I highly doubt he's thought about his own future let alone 'our future.' "You do know we are sixteen right? Forty-year-olds can barely hold a relationship together these days."
"You're so pessimistic," he laughs and reaches out to brush his thumb over my forehead. "Do you know what love feels like?" he asks looking somewhat less confident.
"Jesse, who actually feels love at sixteen?" I ask gently. I once thought that love was forever, but I know that to be wrong. Any number of things can pull the rug out from underneath you.
"Well what do you think it feels like?" He sits cross-legged looking down at me now.
"I don't really think love is a feeling that can be easily identified," I say. "People don't talk about being 'in happy' or 'in sad.' When people say they are feeling love, they say they are in love, something that you fall into. Or out of for that matter. I don't even think that people who are in love always know what they are feeling, but that's just me, and I sure haven't felt it." He nods slightly, and I sit up to look at him. The night is quiet and the air feels heavier. I know what he's going to do before he does it.
He leans in toward me not taking his eyes off mine. Searching for permission, for acceptance. "Are you going to kiss me?" I ask stupidly.
"Um, yes?" he says more like it's a question. "I mean if that's what you want, if you don't want-"
"Calm down. It's okay, I want it," I say not really knowing whether I do or not. He hesitantly brings his lips closer to mine again, giving me a chance to say no. I put my hands on his chest like I might push him away, but I decide this is okay. I'm going to be okay.
I breathe in deeply and then bring my lips to his. It's a foreign feeling. Strange, but not wrong I guess. I close my eyes not really wanting to stare at him and having no idea how else to break eye contact. Slowly, he begins to move his lips against mine and I don't really know what to do. He's my first kiss, but I'm not his. I guess it will come with time.
He puts his hands at the nape of my neck and I try to mimic what he does with his lips. My heart is beating fast and I feel kind of shaky, but in a good way. I gently push him off after a few seconds. "I'm sorry if that wasn't right or was weird or something, that was my first-"
"I know," He says. "It was fine. You don't have to assume the worst of yourself all the time." He says with one hand still on the back of my neck and I lean into his warmth. "And just for the record and maybe it's just me, but I think that might be what the start of love feels like."
He stands up pulling me with him. "I should get home before my brother rats me out to my mom. I'll never be allowed out of the house again," He laughs. "Especially if she knew what was going on." He leans in to kiss my forehead before turning and beginning to walk away.
"Hey, Lover Boy!" I yell at his back. He turns around to look at me. "I'm glad you came," I smile.
"Me too." He replies and turns his back to me again. I watch him walk away.
Who knows, maybe this is what love feels like.
"Hey, you came," I say twisting around to look up at him from the ground.
"I said I would," he reminds me quietly, lying down next to me on the grass. We sit quietly for a few minutes looking up at the stars. You can see them so much better out here, far from any lights. I sigh, feeling the weight of the humidity pressing on my chest. I lay my arm over my eyes and the stars are blocked from view.
"Do you ever think about the future?" Jesse asks me, shifting onto his side.
"My future?" I ask. I haven't really even thought about tomorrow.
"Our future." He clarifies and looks at me expectantly.
"Do you really think we have a future?" I ask skeptically. I highly doubt he's thought about his own future let alone 'our future.' "You do know we are sixteen right? Forty-year-olds can barely hold a relationship together these days."
"You're so pessimistic," he laughs and reaches out to brush his thumb over my forehead. "Do you know what love feels like?" he asks looking somewhat less confident.
"Jesse, who actually feels love at sixteen?" I ask gently. I once thought that love was forever, but I know that to be wrong. Any number of things can pull the rug out from underneath you.
"Well what do you think it feels like?" He sits cross-legged looking down at me now.
"I don't really think love is a feeling that can be easily identified," I say. "People don't talk about being 'in happy' or 'in sad.' When people say they are feeling love, they say they are in love, something that you fall into. Or out of for that matter. I don't even think that people who are in love always know what they are feeling, but that's just me, and I sure haven't felt it." He nods slightly, and I sit up to look at him. The night is quiet and the air feels heavier. I know what he's going to do before he does it.
He leans in toward me not taking his eyes off mine. Searching for permission, for acceptance. "Are you going to kiss me?" I ask stupidly.
"Um, yes?" he says more like it's a question. "I mean if that's what you want, if you don't want-"
"Calm down. It's okay, I want it," I say not really knowing whether I do or not. He hesitantly brings his lips closer to mine again, giving me a chance to say no. I put my hands on his chest like I might push him away, but I decide this is okay. I'm going to be okay.
I breathe in deeply and then bring my lips to his. It's a foreign feeling. Strange, but not wrong I guess. I close my eyes not really wanting to stare at him and having no idea how else to break eye contact. Slowly, he begins to move his lips against mine and I don't really know what to do. He's my first kiss, but I'm not his. I guess it will come with time.
He puts his hands at the nape of my neck and I try to mimic what he does with his lips. My heart is beating fast and I feel kind of shaky, but in a good way. I gently push him off after a few seconds. "I'm sorry if that wasn't right or was weird or something, that was my first-"
"I know," He says. "It was fine. You don't have to assume the worst of yourself all the time." He says with one hand still on the back of my neck and I lean into his warmth. "And just for the record and maybe it's just me, but I think that might be what the start of love feels like."
He stands up pulling me with him. "I should get home before my brother rats me out to my mom. I'll never be allowed out of the house again," He laughs. "Especially if she knew what was going on." He leans in to kiss my forehead before turning and beginning to walk away.
"Hey, Lover Boy!" I yell at his back. He turns around to look at me. "I'm glad you came," I smile.
"Me too." He replies and turns his back to me again. I watch him walk away.
Who knows, maybe this is what love feels like.
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In my hand that used to hold hers
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I could have done better but I didn't
I didn't see how much it mean't
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Seeping beneath my door,
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The wardrobe will squeak,
Those green eyes appear,
Voices will whisper
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Short piece of a novel I've recently started working on again. Focusing I suppose on first love. Enjoy.
© 2012 - 2024 lunalions
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The characters are very realistic. A good start for a novel!